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Broken? – Stanza VI – Part I

October 5, 2012 by  
Filed under Becky Ward, Broken

Broken, to the World means useless.
 “We must be strong, and never weak!”
But in contrast to this vision,
brokenness is what You seek.

Wow! I am having incredible difficulty with this stanza. Not for any lack of material, but just the opposite. What aspect of brokenness to focus on, and where to begin? Come Holy Spirit, this is your work. Enlighten and guide me please, as You will.

I often find that, while I know how to use a word – or I think I do, looking it up in the dictionary almost always brings surprises, and this is no exception. Please bear with me, because words are important, yet in the past several years we have seen words twisted and redefined in epidemic proportions. This can make communication very difficult! . For this reason I am glad to have my grandmother’s dictionary from 1966, that still includes the old-fashioned terms.  It defines the word “broken” as:

1. Forcibly separated into pieces; shattered; fractured. 2. Violated; transgressed: broken vows. 3. Interrupted; disturbed: broken sleep. 4. Incomplete; fragmentary: in broken lots. 5. Rough; uneven as terrain. 6. Veering abruptly: a broken line. 7. In disorder; routed; scattered, as troops. 8. Humbled; crushed. 9. Weakened or infirm; exhausted. 10. Bankrupt; ruined. 11. Trained in procedure; disciplined; adapted: often with in: broken in on a new job. 12. Imperfectly spoken; disjointed: broken English.

As I look at this list from a spiritual standpoint, I see definitions 1 through 7 as being mostly the work of the evil one. The Lord is telling me to ignore numbers 10 and 12 for the purposes of this article, and to look, in a positive manner at numbers 8, 9, and 11. The 11th definition is jumping out at me as if in blinking neon letters!! “Trained in procedure; disciplined; adapted.” From a spiritual perspective, is this not the result of working to attain the 8th and 9th definitions, humility and weakness, where God can now step in and make us strong “Through Him, with Him, and in Him.”?

In all fairness, I did use the “look up” function on my computer and it shows many similar examples, but it is not as thorough; and that’s where the trouble begins. Subtleties and nuances……gray areas, the devil loves them!! This is how he takes a ‘firm foundation’ and turns it to sand. This is how we move from a society that knows, because it is a scientific fact, that life begins at conception, to one that questions the ‘viability’ of life at certain stages, and confers upon women the right to choose. The right to choose WHAT? To kill our babies.

Most of the above definitions describe perfectly the condition of women after they have exercised this so called “right”, and discover the terrible consequences of doing so. These are consequences which in most cases, nobody told them about, and very few care enough to help them deal with. There is a hidden epidemic in our country (and the world), of both men and women who are deeply scarred because of abortion. The ‘world’ tells them there is something wrong with them if they can’t cope, yet as I said in a previous article, the soul knows.

I’ve met two different women in the last six months who went to the doctor for pregnancy confirmation and a first examination, experienced sharp pain during the exam and then miscarried afterward. They didn’t know that the doctor had intentionally done something to cause them to lose the baby until years later. As for myself, when my doctor told me I needed to use some form of birth control between my children, because nursing alone wasn’t enough to prevent another pregnancy, I agreed. I trusted him; and I used an IUD. Now, almost 30 years later I am just learning that these forms of birth control do not prevent conception. The way they work is by preventing the embryo from implanting, which I knew….but somehow I didn’t make the connection that this is, in fact, causing an early abortion. Now I must deal with the fact that I might have children in heaven that I never knew about. Father, forgive us! We do not know what we are doing!

If you, or someone you know, is suffering from the effects of an abortion, please know that I am praying for you, and so are many others.  There is always hope, and there ARE ways to come to terms with what has happened, to be forgiven, and find healing. The devil will tell you otherwise….but then he probably told you it was no big deal to begin with….yes?

Here are some resources where you can find confidential help.

  • Project Rachel is the name of the Catholic Church’s healing ministry to those who have been involved in abortion. Find the nearest one here.
  • Web search – To find the closest Catholic Church simply enter, “Closest Catholic Church to _______”, and put your city and state, or zip code, at the end. I actually did this in Google and the results were very good.

**You don’t have to be Catholic to talk with a priest.**

Because this is a faithfully Catholic site, and because I know there are many sites and organizations out there that would not be helpful, I am limiting my recommendations to these. Yet I am confident that there are many other good organizations where you can get help, as well. Ask a friend………and pray. God will lead you to the right place.

Until we take our very last breath, there is always, always, hope!

Love & Prayers,


This post is part of a series. The introduction and other articles from the series can be found here once published.

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About Becky Ward

Becky is a wife, mother of four (One in heaven), grandmother of five, and a "re-formed Catholic" who, after receiving the gift of a deep conversion in 2006, and working through the Disciples of Jesus and Mary faith formation program, now considers herself to be "fully Catholic" What this means is that she now, at last, understands and appreciates the beauty of the Catholic faith in such a way that she wants to share it with everyone. "I've heard that the Blessed Mother told a visionary, 'If Catholics really lived their faith, the whole world would be Catholic.' I see the truth in this, and it is my deepest hope to be a living example that draws others to Jesus. Given the nickname Rebel-Becca by her mother, Becky strongly identifies with St. John the Baptist and his call to "make straight the path of the Lord", and with his role as "Friend of the Bridegroom". The poem, "Broken?" written through her hand, is a reflection of the journey of the soul, and Becky explains what the Holy Spirit is teaching her as she writes posts for each stanza.

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