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Broken? ~ Stanza II ~ Part I

May 18, 2012 by  
Filed under Becky Ward, Broken

Come Lord Jesus to repair us,
with Your gift of healing love.
Send Your Spirit to prepare us,
for our home in heaven above.

God is love. I had a taste of the truth of this statement once while in adoration It was just a glimmer, lasting only a fraction of a second. Yet in that moment, I knew that God really is love.

For most of my life I had a hard time accepting the fact that God really created us, each individually, but He did. His involvement in our creation is not just in some indirect biological context, as I used to think, but He wills each and every soul into being. There are no souls, (no babies), who are ‘accidents’. In Matthew 10:30 Jesus tells us, “Even all the hairs of your head are counted.” This indicates a God who must be very close and attentive; it’s an incredible statement.  During my formation I learned that every word in the Bible is there intentionally and has meaning. In light of this, I am left in awe and wonder, pondering the beauty of God’s love.

In the last post I mentioned that the Church teaches against certain things because they are evil and contrary to nature. Since they are evil they can hurt us; when we choose evil over good we sin, and sin separates us from God.  Often we can’t see or understand that we’ve been harmed, but our soul knows, and if we don’t confess it and repent, it will eventually make itself known, one way or another; for me it was a mid-life crisis.

It was a big help for me to learn early in my formation how active the devil is in our everyday lives. We don’t hear much about the devil anymore…..and I’m sure he would be quite happy if we forgot he was real, because when this happens moral truths become foggy and confused. This is how I came to accept that while I believed that abortion was the taking of an innocent life…..perhaps it wasn’t my place to make that decision for another woman. After all, she will have to live with her decisions, good and bad, like the rest of us.

Morality is not a democracy! (Matthew Kelly)

One of the realizations that came to me through healing was that it’s not just my beliefs or opinions here, but the universal laws of God – and what is morally good for me, is good for my brothers and sisters too. Anything that is not good for me, is not good for my brothers or sisters, either. Abortion hurts! It hurts a lot of people, and yet it is fiercely defended as a right.  As I progressed through my formation program and actually read what the Church teaches about abortion, chastity, using contraceptives, and other issues like these, where we think the big bad Church is trying to take our freedom away from us with all its rules, I discovered that the teachings really made sense. My experience has been that through loving surrender and obedience to the laws God established, I have been set free! This is remarkable because it’s the opposite of what we think is true. We think that following rules is restrictive and limits our freedom, but only because the devil is telling us so. “God’s holding out on you……”

Through God’s healing love I have learned that I need to do my part to share the truth about these evils with others – through discernment and with love – because they’ve been duped too! There are eternal consequences to our choices, and it’s not charitable to watch someone ‘skipping and dancing’ down the road to perdition (indulging in destructive and selfish behaviors), and not do a thing to stop them. With all my heart I want heaven for everyone; even if it costs me in this life!

So, what is it about us that needs repair? When we sin, we lose sanctifying grace and damage our relationship with God. Less serious, or venial sins, do less damage than do serious, or mortal sins, which turn us away from God. Where do we find sanctifying grace? In the sacraments. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) defines sanctifying grace as:

The grace which heals our human nature wounded by sin by giving us a share in the divine life of the Trinity. It is a habitual, supernatural gift which continues the work of sanctifying us – of making us “perfect”, holy, and Christlike.” (1999)

The word sacrament comes from sacramentum, which “…emphasizes the visible sign of the hidden reality…” (CCC 774) God knew we would have trouble with the supernatural part of our faith, and so He gave us the sacraments in visible form to remind us of the hidden reality which they represent. When we receive the sacraments frequently we are strengthened through grace (God’s action) and are better able to live as we should.

When we love someone, truly love them, we would never do anything to harm them or cause them sorrow or disappointment. It’s not in the nature of love to do this. Real love is demanding; real love is sacrificial; just look at a crucifix. God is perfect love, and He wants to share that with us; that’s what the “perfect” in, “So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48), is all about. The saints weren’t perfect people, but they loved perfectly in many different ways; there are examples for each of us in the lives of the saints, and like the Bible, what they teach us is timeless.

Sadly, many souls have never experienced real love, what with the breakup of families today, and the casual way relationships are entered into and ended on a whim.  If we’ve never experienced the natural love family members should have for one another, how much value can we place in a God that is love? If the only example of love a child ever gets is through an abusive and chaotic home life, how can they possibly see God as good? Yet God can heal even these.

One of the most beautiful parts of my formation was learning that, through prayer, when the time is right, we can go back to the most painful events in our lives and find Jesus there! Often crying for/with us, He will help us to forgive; He will teach us what we gained through the experience, He will lead us to pray for those responsible, and for those who are currently suffering similar trials.

Love & Prayers,


This post is part of a series. The introduction and other articles from the series can be found here -link- once they have been published.

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About Becky Ward

Becky is a wife, mother of four (One in heaven), grandmother of five, and a "re-formed Catholic" who, after receiving the gift of a deep conversion in 2006, and working through the Disciples of Jesus and Mary faith formation program, now considers herself to be "fully Catholic" What this means is that she now, at last, understands and appreciates the beauty of the Catholic faith in such a way that she wants to share it with everyone. "I've heard that the Blessed Mother told a visionary, 'If Catholics really lived their faith, the whole world would be Catholic.' I see the truth in this, and it is my deepest hope to be a living example that draws others to Jesus. Given the nickname Rebel-Becca by her mother, Becky strongly identifies with St. John the Baptist and his call to "make straight the path of the Lord", and with his role as "Friend of the Bridegroom". The poem, "Broken?" written through her hand, is a reflection of the journey of the soul, and Becky explains what the Holy Spirit is teaching her as she writes posts for each stanza.

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