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Broken? ~ Stanza I ~ Part II

May 4, 2012 by  
Filed under Becky Ward, Broken

Broken  Stanza I  Part II

In a world of broken people
You alone can make us whole.
Wounded hearts and minds and spirits,
broken bodies, battered souls.

Broken: Stanza I Part II

When the first words of this poem came to me my mind flew around the globe picking out those suffering from famine, war, terrorism, corrupt government, natural disasters and the for post on stanza Ilike, and also to those who have debilitating diseases and conditions…..those who seemed the most ‘broken’ from my worldly perspective. But I knew that these were not the ones the Holy Spirit was turning my heart to. He meant, as did Jesus in Matthew 23:27, those of us who pretend to be faithful, who make it look like we are good Christians, but whose beliefs and behaviors are often just the opposite of what they should be.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and every kind of filth. Even so, on the outside you appear righteous, but inside you are filled with hypocrisy and evildoing.”

I was one of these people! and among the first few concepts that God taught me was the fact that the devil is real and that evil forces are at work in our lives every day. It was difficult facing the fact that I was wallowing in secular beliefs and ideas that are opposed to what the Church actually teaches, but I needed to know the Truth, and while it was a shock…….it was also quite refreshing for my soul!

While I personally believe that abortion is the taking of an innocent life, I didn’t think I had the right to “impose my beliefs” on anyone else, and I had bought the lie that it’s okay for Catholics to be pro-choice. What I didn’t understand about abortion, contraception, all forms of sinful sexuality, the ordination of women to the priesthood (See CCC 2270-2275, 2370, 2331-2400, 1577 respectively), and other ‘hot button’ issues like this, is that they are intrinsically evil; the thing in itself is evil, and this is why the Church teaches against them. In the prideful act of choosing to accept and believe such things are okay – just like Adam & Eve – rather than humbly accepting what God has put in place through His Church, I had turned my back on God and the Church.

In my ignorance of what the Church actually taught on these issues, and of who God really is, I supported them. My rationale went something like this: “If Jesus was here today He would understand the need to keep the population down.” or “If there aren’t enough men wanting to be priests, maybe that’s a sign from God that women should be ordained.” In His great love for me, the Holy Spirit wasted no time shattering my illusions with this scripture verse:

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Do not be carried away by all sorts of strange teaching. Hebrews 13:8-9a

When my conversion began in 2006 I would spend hours on end in a dark church, no one there but Jesus and me. While I had no idea of how He would do it, I had been told that “Much healing takes place in adoration,” and I clung to that hope with all my heart. I really didn’t expect much. I honestly didn’t know how badly ‘wounded’ I was. I thought I pretty much had things figured out and was doing all the right things to be successful. The devil would play mind games with me, telling me how much time I was wasting and things like that, but something stronger simply pulled at me until I found myself in church once again.

Flash forward to today and I will tell you that daily Mass, regular confession, and lots of adoration have softened my heart and allowed me to be open to the grace God was pouring out on me. I am a new person on the inside, thanks to these practices, a good faith formation program, and solid spiritual direction.

God alone can heal the wounds that lie so deep in our hearts that we may not even know they are there. He can also heal us physically, mentally, and emotionally…….so gradually that we don’t notice it until one day we discover to our astonishment that a bad habit, like yelling at people in traffic, or an ailment, is just gone! I have experienced this; you can too!

Wholeness can only be achieved when we acknowledge our spiritual needs as well as the physical, mental, and emotional. Since our soul will live for eternity, we need to make sure our spiritual needs are at the top of the list. Go to confession; Jesus is waiting for you there and absolution is FREE!!

Love & Prayers,

Becky

This post is part of a series. The introduction and other articles from the series can be found here once they have been published.

 

 

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About Becky Ward

Becky is a wife, mother of four (One in heaven), grandmother of five, and a "re-formed Catholic" who, after receiving the gift of a deep conversion in 2006, and working through the Disciples of Jesus and Mary faith formation program, now considers herself to be "fully Catholic" What this means is that she now, at last, understands and appreciates the beauty of the Catholic faith in such a way that she wants to share it with everyone. "I've heard that the Blessed Mother told a visionary, 'If Catholics really lived their faith, the whole world would be Catholic.' I see the truth in this, and it is my deepest hope to be a living example that draws others to Jesus. Given the nickname Rebel-Becca by her mother, Becky strongly identifies with St. John the Baptist and his call to "make straight the path of the Lord", and with his role as "Friend of the Bridegroom". The poem, "Broken?" written through her hand, is a reflection of the journey of the soul, and Becky explains what the Holy Spirit is teaching her as she writes posts for each stanza.

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