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Find a Real Friend in Jesus: Ten Amazingly Easy Steps

Find a Real Friend in Jesus: Ten Amazingly Easy Steps
Interview with Gary Zimak


While interviewing Gary Zimak about his new book, “Find a Real Friend in Jesus: Ten Amazingly Easy Steps”, I found a fascinating backstory of how a conversion experience propelled him into a career as a full-time Catholic FindARealFriendInJesusevangelist.

Nancy: How did God guide you into a career as a Catholic evangelist rather than another career?

Gary: As you know I speak a lot about overcoming anxiety. One of the things about me is that I’m not the bravest person in the world. I’ve never been someone who wanted to be in business for myself. I always wanted the bi-weekly paycheck. These are not the qualities that a full-time evangelist would typically have.

After my conversion took place in 2004, I started wanting to get more involved in my parish. As I learned more about the Lord, I said, “I gotta share this with other people.” I got involved with my parish and started to teach catechism classes.

Then I felt moved to create my website,  As this went on, as I started to get to know Christ more and share him on a limited level with people, I wanted to share him on a greater level. I got this crazy idea that I wanted to do this full time. I wondered, “Where is this coming from?”

My wife and I talked this over, and I said, “You know honey, if I just quit my job, that’s crazy! What if I’m wrong?“ I felt the Lord calling me. (I wrote a lot about this journey I’m going through in my book Faith, Hope and Clarity.) I prayed, “Lord, let me work for you full time.” My wife prayed. I thought it was going to be through a Church, a diocese or something like that but nothing was coming about.

EWTN saw my website and invited me to do some Catholic radio part time. I was still working my full-time secular job until January of 2012 when I got laid off for the first and only time in my life.

My wife, God bless her, said, “Gary, I don’t know if you will ever get this chance again. Why don’t you give it a shot and see what happens?”

That was without any speaking engagements on the books or any way to make any income. I went from six figures to no guaranteed income. It was a process, but little by little the Lord led me along. I tried some things; some things started working, but it was challenging. That’s what happened: the Lord really kicked me out of the boat, and I needed that.

Nancy: Tell me about your conversion and that defining moment when you realized God loved you personally and you gave him your life?

Gary: Tough question but I know when it happened. As a cradle Catholic, I went to Mass every Sunday but for most of my life, I went through the motions. I thought all I’m supposed to do is go to Church, and my life was about pleasing me.

My big conversion experience began in 2004 when I suffered medical symptoms. I was always worried about my health, yet the doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me. One test led to another, and they thought I might have some sort of lymphoma. They saw some enlarged lymph nodes in my abdomen — and that’s cancer! I panicked and really made it a point to find Jesus because I thought I was dying.

I originally wanted to get to know him and get to know the teachings of the Church because I didn’t want to have to face him and be judged, knowing that I’m a lousy Catholic. But what happened in the next several months is that I got to know Jesus on a personal level. And he and I became friends. Our friendship shifted from me wanting him to serve me and help me, to him bringing peace to me and my wanting to serve him.

Several months later my symptoms vanished! The lymph nodes went down in size. The doctors never knew what was wrong with me.

Nancy: Did you go through a process of discernment, counseling or some particular devotion?

Gary: Just prior to the layoff, I consecrated my life to Jesus through Mary. That total consecration was a big step for me. I expected the Blessed Mother to lead me somewhere; I just didn’t expect it to be through a job layoff!

It was amazing. When I got laid off, as I said, I was torn between getting another traditional job and somehow working for the Lord. I was collecting unemployment, putting some resumes out there, while trying to become a paid speaker. My spiritual director said, “Gary, you’re doing the right thing. Of course, you have to support your family.”

As time went on, I saw through circumstances how the Lord was sending me people who encouraged me and sent me work as an evangelist. I prayed throughout the day, went to daily Mass. The Lord has been leading me ever since then.

I think a lot of times the Lord does speak through circumstances. If he wants me to be a full-time speaker then eventually he’s going to send me some speaking engagements. That’s what was happening on a gradual basis.

Nancy: How did your spiritual life change?

Gary: One of the things I started to do is go to daily Mass, and that has been such a tremendous help to me. If you want to get to know Jesus, one of the best things you can do is go to daily Mass. Once I started doing that my life changed.

I’ve been at this, as a full-time Catholic speaker and author, for 4½ years. I look back on my books, and I wouldn’t change anything I wrote, but I realize that 4½ years ago, I don’t know if I necessarily felt everything that I said. Even though I was writing what I think the Holy Spirit wanted me to say, I don’t know if I was necessarily living it as much as I am now. I feel this call to become a better person. That’s the one thing that is really hitting me.

I go out and I speak about Jesus on a full-time basis. I don’t want to live a different life than what I speak so I’m being called to be more patient, to be more charitable, to do things I don’t necessarily want to do. It’s funny, but that‘s the fruit of my ministry. It’s causing me to seek perfection. I have a long way to go but I’m trying to be better and it’s affecting my whole family as well.

Nancy: It seems like you were writing and speaking prophetically, not just what you wanted for others but what you aspire to do and struggle to become. Is that how you see it?

Gary: You can struggle with writing or speaking and realize you’re not feeling or living this as much as you should. If you have a good prayer life, a good relationship with the Lord — and I’m also under spiritual direction – you realize there are changes you have to make in your own life. Sometimes I feel my writing and my speaking are addressed to me. I hear the Holy Spirit speaking, and I say, “Yeah, I need to do this!“ The Holy Spirit teaches us through our writing. That’s one of the beautiful things about what we do. It’s a spiritual journey. It’s not just being a writer or a speaker, it’s this relationship journey we are on with the Lord, and I think we grow through our ministry.

Nancy: Many people want to work full time for the Lord, but few can do that. It must be a tremendous act of faith every day to go out there and not know if your income will be enough.

Gary: Especially for someone who is prone to anxiety! After 4½ years, I’m starting to get how this works. I’ve been at the edge of the cliff so many times. The Lord always sends me somebody or lets something develop that encourages me to keep going. I have sat in Adoration and said, “Lord, I don’t want to do this if you don’t want me to. Please let it fall apart if it’s not your will.” He never lets it fall apart. I still struggle. We live month-to-month and homeschool as well, so I’m the breadwinner, but we’re getting by one month at a time. It’s a process but now I’m realizing how he works. Through all this, my family and I are learning to trust more in God’s providence, so it’s bearing fruit in so many different ways.

Nancy: What prompted you to write “Find a Real Friend in Jesus: Ten Amazingly Easy Steps”?

Gary: I always feel like the Holy Spirit prompts me to write these books. I knew Jesus, but I didn’t know him as well as I wanted to. I recognized that so many Catholics have a problem with their personal relationship with Jesus. For whatever reason, it is not something that comes naturally, especially to cradle Catholics. We think it’s a Protestant thing; we don’t ask, “How do I get to know Jesus?” I took it to the Lord, spent some time in Adoration, and prayed, “Lord, I want to get to know you better. I feel like writing this book would help.”

Then I wanted to share the message. I was able to get a contract for the book. Through writing it, I grew much closer to Christ. It was a great spiritual experience for me.

Nancy: One of the features in “Find a Real Friend in Jesus: Ten Amazingly Easy Steps” is the promise that we can all have a real friendship with Jesus through encounters with him. Then you put the readers into the lives of biblical characters who had brief encounters with him. What responses do you get from this exercise?

Still_life_with_BibleGary: I’m a big fan of the Bible, and I read it every day. I like to look at these encounters, especially in my own life. When I look at what happens with people, Jesus, and me, I just get more excited to really get to know him on a deeper personal level.

The response has been good. It’s a technique I like to use in my life and when I speak as well. I want the listeners or readers, to be aware that if you have a personal encounter with Christ, your life is not going to be the same.

When I go out — and especially when I speak about anxiety — I’m totally confident that if whoever is listening to me speak or reading my books starts talking to Jesus, I know that the Lord is going to come through. Changes will happen in their life, even if I don’t know them personally, I know Jesus personally and I know what’s going to happen.

Nancy: How did the sacraments influence your choice of the “Find a Real Friend in Jesus: Ten Amazingly Easy Steps”?

Gary: The sacraments are huge because I realize that I need grace. I have a tendency to try to control things. That doesn’t work in our lives. It’s not going to help get us to heaven. We can’t force ourselves not to worry or to be peaceful. As you know, I’m a huge believer in daily Mass. I’ve seen it have an incredible effect in my life. I try to let people know the power of receiving Holy Communion every day whenever possible. It’s an incredible opportunity for us to grow in virtue. I can’t do it alone but with the Lord and the grace he sends through the sacraments, great things can happen.

Also, the sacrament of Confession helps me tremendously, especially in overcoming the sins I commit over and over. I commit them less frequently now, I still have a lot of work to do, but the grace I received in Confession is incredibly powerful.

I want to use all the graces of the sacraments. I use the grace of the sacrament of Marriage with my wife and children every day in the challenges we face. So I’m a big believer in grace.

AllSaintsCatholicChurchStPetersMissouriStainedGlassSacristyHolySpiritDetailI realize that when I was baptized and confirmed I received the Holy Spirit, and I have the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit. I’m at a point now that I want to get to know the Holy Spirit better. I see a book coming because the Holy Spirit is a mystery to so many people.

I have these graces, and I’m not using them. I know the Holy Spirit can do much better work in my life, and I am now focused on that. I’ve tried to force writing a book. I’ don’t consider myself a natural writer. I depend on the Lord and the Holy Spirit to inspire me.

Nancy: Where does the Body of Christ fit into our relationship with Jesus?

Gary: Jesus wants us to have a personal relationship with him, but he doesn’t want us to do it alone. He wants us to do it in community as part of the Body of Christ. I wanted to emphasize in the book that we are not meant to have a “me and Jesus” relationship exclusively. It’s more than that. Christ founded a church, and he’s active in his church, speaks through his church, and wants us to be a part of his church. If I take the me-and-Jesus mentality too far, I can start to believe things that conflict with his church. When that happens, we create our own version of Jesus. If you want to get close to Christ, you need to do it through his church.

Nancy: What’s the main principle you want your readers to take away from “Find a Real Friend in Jesus: Ten Amazingly Easy Steps”?

Gary: That Jesus wants to be our friend. That if I don’t accept his offer of friendship, he’ll be sad because he has a human heart. He can feel emotions. If everyone else in the world accepts his offer of friendship and I don’t, that’s going to hurt him. He really loves me so much that he’ll feel sad if I don’t become his friend. That makes me feel loved. It makes me want to respond. That’s the real message.

A side message is that it is possible to have a personal relationship with Jesus. Many people sitting next to us in church don’t know it’s possible to have a great relationship with Jesus. They have such anxiety, and yet walking with him every day can alleviate so much of that.

When we have a relationship with Christ, we have a desire to bring souls to Christ. Once I had that personal encounter with Jesus Christ, I wanted to share him with others. And that’s been the quest for 12 years now. It’s been trying to get to know Christ as good as I possibly can and share him with others. That desire in me just grows and grows. I just can’t quit doing what I’m doing.


GaryZimakStoryBioPic2Gary Zimak is the author of several books, including Find a Real Friend in Jesus: Ten Amazingly Easy Steps. He is a frequent speaker at parishes and conferences and is recognized as the leading Catholic speaker on overcoming anxiety. In addition to hosting his daily radio show on BlogTalkRadio, Gary is a regular guest on EWTN television and radio. His website is


Art: Cover of Find a Real Friend in Jesus: Ten Amazingly Easy Steps and photograph of Gary Zimak, courtesy Gary Zimak, used with permission. A Hermit Praying, Gerrit Dou, between 1645 and 1675, PD-US author’s life plus 100 years or less; Still Life with Bible, Vincent Van Gogh, 1885, PD-Art; All Saints Catholic Church (St. Peters, Missouri) – stained glass, sacristy, Holy Spirit detail, Nheyob, 8 July 2014, own work, CCA-SA 4.0 International; all Wikimedia Commons.

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About Nancy Ward

Nancy HC Ward is a Spirit-filled convert, journalist, blogger and speaker who shares her joy in the Lord, her conversion, the Catholic Church and Christian community in Texas. On, she hosts the Joy Alive Network of spiritual support and inspiration. She earned a journalism degree, wrote, edited and managed corporate, non-profit and educational publications for 25 years. She is published in Charisma, Our Sunday Visitor, New Covenant, St. Anthony Messenger, Vocations Magazine, Shalom Tidings and nine websites. She facilitates the Dallas/Fort Worth Catholic Writers and a critique group for the Catholic Writers Guild, where she serves as a board member.

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  • Philip George Regan

    Great article ! I was struck by Gary’s comments regarding the benefit of Daily Holy Communion – since I was laid off I now have the Grace of receiving Holy Communion every day – now just yesterday I read from Saint Faustina’s diary

    Diary 840

    “It is only in eternity that we shall know the great mystery effected in us
    by Holy Communion. O most precious moments of my life! ”

    So if anyone reading this could receive Holy Communion on a daily basis but for some reason doesn’t – just think of what you might be missing !!!

    • LizEst

      Thanks for that witness. Indeed, many saints have told urged us to receive Our Lord in the Eucharist as often as possible. God bless you, Philip George Regan, now and always.

  • Nancy MacAfee

    “It’s been trying to get to know Christ as good as I possibly can….” As a writer and home schooling parent, you may be interested in learning that ” ..trying to get to know Jesus as well as ….” is grammatically correct . Your article is an excellent example of conversion from lukewarmness to true zeal and trust in Jesus and Mary. One of my “sins” is correcting others. I’m working on it…

    • LizEst

      Thank you, Nancy, for your correction. When quoting Gary, the author used his words, not hers. She was being true to how he spoke at the time. God bless you!

  • marybernadette

    ‘What a wonderful thing is our Church’ to quote the late Mother Angelica, God rest her. Our Catholic Church is a ‘Rich Treasure Trove’ of ‘Blessings.’ No wonder converts to Her, are on ‘Fire’ because they have searched for this ‘Truth.’ I don’t have the blessing of a ‘Spiritual Director’, they are hard to come by. However, I belong to a Charismatic Prayer Group ( I should say I did but sensed the Lord encouraging me to go back). The Lord has made it known that He wants people to ‘Praise and Worship Him’ more. One does not need to belong to a prayer group to do this but it does help me. Also, the Mass, Adoration and Sacraments and the Holy Rosary are wonderful means to have a personal Relationship with the Lord. We need to ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten and empower us in this Relationship.

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