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Video – How can I forgive?

February 25, 2013 by  
Filed under Dan Burke, Forgiveness, Fr. Bartunek, Videos

How Can I Forgive?

Fr. John Bartunek and Dan Burke discuss forgiveness, and ways that we can overcome the challenges we face when wounded by others.

Father John and Dan discuss issues associated with the struggle to forgive and how central it is to the gospel of Jesus Christ, especially in the prayer Jesus taught us in the Our Father.  Is forgiveness the face of love in a fallen world? What does mercy have to do with it?  Does it come from us?  What are the things we can do to forgive?  What is one of the most effective helps to helping us forgive?  Is it OK, is it real, to have emotions and feelings when someone hurts us?  Do the feelings and emotions ever go away when we forgive? What can we do to help our emotions catch up with our decisions to forgive? How did Jesus illustrate the type of forgiveness we need to have?

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About Dan Burke

Dan is the President of the Avila Foundation, the parent organization of, the Avila Institute for Spiritual Formation, Divine Intimacy Radio and Divine Intimacy Radio - Resources Edition, Into the Deep Parish Programs, the Apostoli Viae (Apostles of the Way) Community, and the FireLight Student Leadership Formation Program, author of the award-winning book, Navigating the Interior Life - Spiritual Direction and the Journey to God, Finding God Through Meditation-St. Peter of Alcantara, 30 Days with Teresa of Avila, Into the Deep, Living the Mystery of Merciful Love: 30 Days with Thérèse of Lisieux, and his newest book The Contemplative Rosary with St. John Paul II and St. Teresa of Avila. Beyond his "contagious" love for Jesus and His Church, he is a grateful husband and father of four, the Executive Director of and writer for EWTN's National Catholic Register, a regular co-host on Register Radio, a writer and speaker who provides online spiritual formation and travels to share his conversion story and the great riches that the Church provides us through authentic Catholic spirituality. Dan has been featured on EWTN's Journey Home program and numerous radio programs.

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  • LizEst

    Beautiful. I’ve sent this link on to many.

    Father R. Scott Hurd, a former Episcopal priest (now a Catholic priest), has a good book on this topic called “Forgiveness – A Catholic Approach.” It is short and easy to understand and has many excellent insights.

  • $1650412

    This is a really great brief explanation of the practical aspects of Christian forgiveness!

  • This was a great video describing the will to forgive but the emotions one can feel. I struggle with this as being a victim of abuse on different levels. I now understand the emotions are the human element of forgiveness and the will is the supernatural element of forgiveness. Why do people suffer PTSD and symptoms such as memories of being hurt when they willed to forgive. Why does this keep comming back if God can just take it way. Is it the person is not responding to Gods grace? I myself have been what I say a flood of emotions happen during prayer when I re will to forgive a person or people who have hurt me. I would feel then my prayer is not sincere since I would feel anger and hate and sorrow. Is this a process should I pray even more or just move on to something else. Sad to say this has effected me so much the abuse and trauma I have experinced as a child and adult that I am on medication. I feel I have failed God on forgiveness although I have willed to forgive a hundred and hundred times over. It has been years. Do we forget like Jesus does when we forgive? I hear the expression to forgive is to forget but I have not so am I not responding or cooperating with God’s grace. I am sure many other individuals have the same situations. This is a tremendous spiritual suffering. I need some answers. What are some reccomendations?

    • LizEst

      Teresa – Don’t sell yourself short. You are responding to God’s grace. Just the fact that you have made the decision to forgive and you are trying to forgive is testimony to that. Just the fact that you have not hardened your heart to the need to forgive is testimony to that.

      Forgiving is a decision. And, the reason Jesus told us to forgive seventy times seven is that he wants us to forgive as he does. He knows that the psychology of hurt and abuse is that it keeps coming back and hurting us. Thus, we must forgive the hurt and wrong done to us again and again and again and again and again. We must pray for those who hurt us. We must return good for the evil that was done. It is hard work…even if the decision to forgive and the act of forgiveness comes easily. It usually takes time before the work of forgiveness gives us the gift of that forgiveness which is peace and peace of mind and love for those who have hurt us.

      I recommend this book to you: Father R. Scott Hurd, a former Episcopal priest (now a Catholic priest), has a good book on this topic called “Forgiveness – A Catholic Approach.” It is short and easy to understand and has many excellent
      insights. It answers a lot of your questions.

      Also, I recommend putting the word “forgiveness” into the search box on this site. It will link you to all the articles here that have addressed this topic.

      One other thing, have you had an extended talk with a priest about this? If you have not talked to a priest about this, you should do so. Tell him that you are trying to forgive. Exhaust every possibility of why you cannot move forward. Explore with him the possibly that, perhaps, someone along the line may have cursed you or your family. I’m not trying to scare you, but that does happen. So, it’s a real possibility. If that’s the case, perhaps he could set up an appointment with an exorcist. You have tried many different ways to handle this. Now, talk to a priest. Ask him about this.

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