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My Faulty Imagination and the Infinite God

January 30, 2013 by  
Filed under Ariel McKinney, Meditations

Many times, I unknowingly think about God’s fullness in incomplete terms. I forget just how glorious, rich, and deep His divinity is. Of Imagination and the Infinite Godcourse, I know that He is so much greater than my heart could ever fathom, but since He appears to us in the New Testament as the Word Made Flesh, He always appears in my mind as Christ in his human likeness, rather than as Lord of all, with both human and divine wills and natures fused as one.

So as I tried to fall asleep last night, this realization hit me, and I suddenly shuddered at the thought of dying and standing before my God- who is not just a man, but the eternal, powerful, magnificent, perfect, creator of all things, in every generation, past, present and future. He is holding everything into existence at this very moment. He allows for every breeze, every breath, every moment to be as He wishes. With one word, He can terminate the cosmos as we know it. He doesn’t have to keep the universe spinning. Nor does He need us. We do not add to God’s fullness. Otherwise, God wouldn’t be, well, God. He would be dependent on something else for His existence, and therefore wouldn’t be able to be the creator of all, requiring our love for his own sustainment and power. Thus, since God is entirely full and happy in Himself, He creates and sustains out of complete love.

How little am I, entirely dependent on His hand to keep me existing here on this earth. I did not create myself. Nor did my parents. They did not give me a soul and breathe life into me. They were simply God’s instruments for my creation. Moreover, I did not choose to be born. God willed it, for the sole purpose of uniting me with Him so that I could be happy. How, then could I even dare think that I’m worthy enough to stand before Him and say that I did all that I could to love and serve Him on Earth! How many times I’ve failed Him- out of laziness, tiredness, sensuality and pride. I can’t even begin to imagine how penetrating his gaze will be when He looks at me. He won’t just see me as I am, but as He imagined and created me to be, regardless of if I met those expectations or not. He will see all that I accomplished, all that I built up and all that I destroyed. He will reveal His knowledge of all of my thoughts and desires, spoken and unspoken. With all of this in mind, how then can I neglect the awesome wonders of God’s divinity when I think about Him?

This kind of meditation doesn’t always penetrate my thoughts everyday when I sit in prayer. I can’t always imagine how glorious God is. It comes and goes. I wish I could hold on to this realization more often, and keep it always present in the front of my mind, so that I remember my purpose in life, and the blessings and love that I am continually given. So maybe it’s my lack of imagination. Maybe I pay attention too much to the every day grind and forget where I’m actually going. Perhaps I’ll try this week to really focus on this small revelation of mine and look at all of the aspects of my life differently, so that Christ in His divinity is more present and real in my heart. Even though I am faulty, because of His mercy and the sacraments of the Catholic Church, I look forward to how glorious and wonderful and loving God will be when I die, if I approach Him with trust, mercy and a heart full of passionate love for Him.


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About Ariel McKinney

Ariel is a graduate student pursuing a master's degree in vocal performance and opera. She is a fervent Catholic who enjoys all that is artistic and beautiful; she also has her own photography business, Song of Songs Photography.

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  • LizEst

    Beautiful. Thanks Ariel. God bless you.

  • Very inspirational Thank you

  • Becky Ward

    Ariel, I think most souls have either had an experience like this, or have one waiting for them. (Hopefully it won’t be when they die.)  I consider it one of the BIG “Ah-ha!” moments in our journey and I never tire of hearing others share their own personal version. God is awesome!! Thanks for sharing!

  • Robert Kraus

    Beautiful meditation and convicting…

  • Thank you, Ariel.  Your Post is so nostalgic. It reminds me of my Catechism Class when I was a wee little girl. “God created us to know Him, to Love Him and to serve Him so that at the end of our lives, we shall be with Him for all Eternity.”  

    I could not picture in my little mind what Eternity was.  But I tried to understand it by looking up at the sky, trying to see any star during the day!!!! At times I succeeded in seeing one, two, three or four before my Mother would call me to stop day dreaming.  In the evening before we were called to go to bed, we would lie down in the grass and gaze at the sky, seeing the stars or the beautiful full moon and imagine where God was……now that age has caught up with me I just contend myself to striving to follow what the Holy Church teaches me about the Infinity and Holiness of God and His unfathomable Mercy through which He forgives my sins when I offend Him, oh so very often.

    So, my daily Prayer to Jesus is this: “My Merciful Jesus, come when You are ready and make me ready when You come”. Do I fear death?????? not really…….that is why I pray to Jesus to grant me a well provided death according to the Teachings of Mother Church, relying on his Mercy alone.

    • LizEst

      I love your daily prayer “My Merciful Jesus, come when You are ready and make me ready when You come.” Thanks Mary. I’ll be saying it myself. God bless you.

    • Neil MacDonald

      Mary, you need to go out this summer on a clear night and lay on the grass and look up at the stars, their still there and the older you get, the prettier they get. The wonders of our creator. Were Blessed.

      • Yes, Nail. I need to do that.  When next time we all go to our Rural home with my nephews, nieces, their children  and my beloved Grandchild, especially during Christmas, I shall definitely get the little ones altogether so that we can all lie down and watch the stars as I tell them the stories of our young life there….that is what Grandparents are there for, isn’t it!?!?!?! to regale the little ones with Stories…….they love that.  

        Meanwhile, in my Home here in the City, my little Office walls are the Album of my Family photos…..every time they visit me, the first place the rush in is this Room…..they can spend hours here seeing themselves at various stages of their growth, their Parents when they were young and exchanging their experiences then…… that is before they have to shove one another off my Laptop to take photos of themselves in various positions and antics which they leave for my Screen Saver!!!

        And to all you, my beloved “Family Members” who have loved my daily Prayer, let us all be saying it every day.  And also offering the kind of death God has decreed for each one of us to Jesus and joining all its terrors, fears, tribulations, agonies and everything else to His Passion.  That way, as Jesus told Saint Faustina, our daily Offerings helps Him to save many, many souls.To you, Maryellen, we daily Pray the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy for the dying, the sick, the poor, the homeless, the abandoned, the widows and orphans, the sinners and the Holy Souls in Purgatory.  The Eucharistic Apostles of the Divine Mercy do this  around the Clock by allocating each one the Hour they are to pray for those who are dying at that hour all over the world and for those other Intentions as Intercessors.

    • I wish I could see those stars. There is too much light pollution here in the city. But I remember my high school senior retreat, we walked around the retreat compound while praying the rosary. As soon as we finished, the sky opened up to thousands of stars! It was a great gift! 🙂

      • LizEst

        Beautiful image, Mary. Thanks for sharing that. God bless you.

    • I agree with LizEst. I love your daily prayer. “My Merciful Jesus, come when You are ready and make me ready when You come”.   I also pray for a happy death not only for myself but those who are elderly and sick.

  • RobinJeanne

    Amen!!! Sister!!!


    God is awesome!

  • judeen

      when we think …we will face the God who a cloud of smoke would come down and cover… for He was so Holy no one could set eyes on… and moses face would shine so that he had to wear a veil….  the God who is so mighty and Holy…. we will face… 1 day… and this
    God Almighty , loves us… wants us to be with Him… us who are nothing…yet so much , for He made us… came to earth to save us and teach us , to heal us…. the God who all angels bow and serve and adore.. with choirs of saints …. He is watching us now… guiding our ways… seeing what and how we will follow His ways and how we love one another…
    it is written if 1 beleives in God it is the gift of God the Father….. thank you God for such a Gift

  • Hannah T

    A beautiful way to start a beautiful morning! Thanks, Ariel.

  • pmbpmb

    Ariel, what a beautiful and moving meditation!  I wrapped arms around my Risen Christ Cross to feel closer to his awesome love.  I love Mary’s prayer below, especially the part “make me ready when you come!”.  Helps me remember exactly what we are created for! Thank you all for sharing!

  • David Silva

    Absolutely beautiful! I pray that God always remains this close to your heart and mind, and that He reveals Himself to all the hearts in His church body, so that we might just taste this Love you spoke of in your meditation. Thank you Ariel for opening your heart and sharing such an intimate encounter with the Lord. It was life giving!

  • jerriammons

    Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised! Beautiful and inspiring words for all of us Ariel. God has blessed you with wisdom.

  • Thanks for your post.  A couple of months ago, as I was entering prayer, I was overcome by the majesty and greatness of God.  It filled me with an almost holy terror.  I think that sometimes we feel so close to God and we feel so “familiar.”  Jesus wants this from us since God is a personal God.  However, if many of us could contemplate these truths a little more, we would be utterly transformed.  I guess that is why Fear of the Lord is one of the seven gifts of the Spirit.  Thanks again for this wonderful blog post!

    • What a beautiful experience, Kristin! I agree entirely! 

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