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I cannot feel God’s presence, am I a bad person?

July 19, 2012 by  
Filed under Aridity or Dryness, Dan Burke, Prayer

I am a Catholic or try to be one, and I am having problems feeling the Power of my religion. I have been so hurt throughout my life and I've tried to forgive the people, but it does no good. I feel like I get far more satisfaction out of my work than my faith. It’s so hard for me to get the concept that when I go to communion, its Jesus' Body and Blood that I’m receiving. That is so deep to me that I can't grasp it. Why have I lost my grip on how I use to feel about going to Church, how I feel after confession and when I pray. Sometimes I ask for things, other times I thank God for everything, sometimes I pray for different people and sometimes I pray by just being quite. When I'm quiet, I never think or feel the presence of God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit being with me. Am I a bad person? I've been told that by my questioning these things, that I'm actually growing in my faith and not going the other direction. Am I a “bad” person? When I get to the gates of Heaven, will I be told that God didn't have enough time for me to have put me in the book for Heaven and I lose out on it? Why do I have such a hard time believing, or the feelings I do have about my religion coming out and consuming me to the deep relationship I want to have and feel from God. Can someone please point me in the right direction? I'm not being a good Catholic for my husband or my son.

Dear Friend, I am saddened to hear of your suffering but happy that you are seeking answers. This is a sign that you are heading the right direction and that the pull of the divine master is still present in your heart. Be assured that there are answers to your struggles and that you are not alone. As you have likely noticed in our community, many struggle with many aspects of their faith. The key difference between those who fall into despair and away from God and those who continue to grow, is perseverance. Never disengage, never stop seeking, showing up, and wrestling with God and your faith.

You have asked a number of questions but my reply will focus on your struggles with the seeming absence of God's presence. With respect to your other questions, if you have not already done so, a program of spiritual reading is very important to your situation. To help with this check out our resources for growth page which will provide you with the means to find answers to your questions in more detail.

Regarding your struggles with prayer, what you are experiencing is known as “aridity.” There are several causes and we will deal briefly with a few here.

Sin or Apathy: These aridities come for the same reasons that coldness and distance develop between a husband and wife or any two people who are in close relationship to one another. When the covenantal love or respect between persons is broken, or slighted even in the smallest ways, sometimes this can result in coldness in the relationship. The warmth fades, the intimacy dissipates, and we feel alone. This happens because we have either turned our back on the other, or have simply turned aside and begin to travel a path that is in any way contrary to what is best for the relationship. The solution here is simple – confession, reconciliation and rededication to the relationship.

Calling to a Deeper Relationship: When this is the cause, the situation is much more positive than in our first case. Aridity is what it is because of an absence of what may have been present at time before the aridity set in. This absence of the consolation of God feels like abandonment when in fact it is the opposite. St. John of the Cross uses a beautiful analogy to describe what is happening here (we will provide a summary and application of his analogy).

When a baby is held in its mother’s arms at her breast, there is no place of greater peace, solace, comfort and provision. If a mother loves her child, there will come a day when she knows that she must be set down on the floor and learn how to walk. How does this feel from the perspective of the child? Is the child any less safe, loved, or provided for in this context?

In the same way, God is seeking provide us with what we need to mature in Him. As he sets us down, sensual consolations disappear (aridity). We are then faced with a wrestling with the purity of our love. This situation brings a new awareness of the shallow nature of our love for Him and introduces us to a purifying challenge that is often very uncomfortable. How can we love if we feel nothing in return? In the end, this love required from us is a test to reveal the true nature of our love. Do we love because of what we gain in return? Do we love because of how this love makes us feel, or do we love in a pure self-giving way?

As the reality of our weakness is revealed, we cry out to God, and push forward in faith. The purification that comes then sets the stage for a love that we could have otherwise never known.

In this darkness, if we persevere, we will learn to love the way God loves.

We will close this treatment with a brief note of encouragement from the doctor of the dark night – St. John of the Cross:

It behoves those who find themselves in this condition to take courage, and persevere in patience. Let them not afflict themselves, but put their confidence in God, who never forsakes those who seek Him with a pure and upright heart. Neither will He withhold from them all that is necessary for them on this road until He brings them to the clear and pure light of love…

For more insights on aridity, see Fr. John’s posts here. Be assured of my prayers, and the prayers of those who will read your question.

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About Dan Burke

Dan is the President of the Avila Foundation, the parent organization of, the Avila Institute for Spiritual Formation, Divine Intimacy Radio and Divine Intimacy Radio - Resources Edition, Into the Deep Parish Programs, the Apostoli Viae (Apostles of the Way) Community, and the FireLight Student Leadership Formation Program, author of the award-winning book, Navigating the Interior Life - Spiritual Direction and the Journey to God, Finding God Through Meditation-St. Peter of Alcantara, 30 Days with Teresa of Avila, Into the Deep, Living the Mystery of Merciful Love: 30 Days with Thérèse of Lisieux, and his newest book The Contemplative Rosary with St. John Paul II and St. Teresa of Avila. Beyond his "contagious" love for Jesus and His Church, he is a grateful husband and father of four, the Executive Director of and writer for EWTN's National Catholic Register, a regular co-host on Register Radio, a writer and speaker who provides online spiritual formation and travels to share his conversion story and the great riches that the Church provides us through authentic Catholic spirituality. Dan has been featured on EWTN's Journey Home program and numerous radio programs.

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  • LizEst

    Great response, Dan. Because it can really mess with the head, it’s very helpful to understand why one cannot always feel the affective presence of God. This essay allows people to get to the heart of the matter by pointing out the difference sources of aridity and giving a brief explanation of such. It was also uplifting that you ended it with a note of encouragement. Thank you so much!

    • I have felt much closer to God since I began to attend weekly adoration for one hour. I look forward to that quiet time with Jesus in the blessed eucharist. I have also done Consecration to Jesus through Mary, and have realized that Mary’s role is to bring us closer to her son, and when I depend on her, I also feel closer to God. Mother Teresa of Calcutta had years of “dark night of the soul” , however, her will was such that he continued to trust God and dedicate her life to serving him by caring for others. God loves you with an everlasting love, even if you can’t always feel or sense his presence.

      • LizEst

        Yes, God loves us with an everlasting love even if one can’t always feel or sense his presence. Mother Teresa is an excellent example of how God wants us to trust him. Look at what God does with that kind of trust! Blessed be God!
        …and may God bless you, too!

  • $1650412

    I love this response, Dan. I know this whole situation must feel so up-ending for this woman. I have had similar experiences to this. And I found it to be exactly as you have said here Dan, a type of purifying of my intent, and developing of discipline of faith- although I am not a very good learner on these points and am sure to repeat these lessons many, many times. In my experiences I have had to ask myself how much of my relationship oriented toward Jesus in my Catholic faith is really all about me. Sadly, I have come to realize- ALOT of it is often all about me. I can even see I have had a tendency at times to make God over in my ‘image’ and to pitch fits with Him when He doesn’t do things the way I think He should- or the way I would if I were He…
    I think the first thing that helps a soul is to know that this aridity can be some form of ‘normal’- and that it is not a gauge of our security in Christ, but rather an opportunity to see very clearly that everything we are and have and know and experience is in the hands of the Lord, and to continue to relinquish it, and all our preconceived ideas about it, to His sovereign will. This is about as fun as experiencing the onset dehydration on a long training run- that state of ‘why am I doing this?’, ‘this is killing me….’,’I can’t go another step’, ‘what in the world has happened to me?’….etc. along with a whole host of other debilitating thoughts, doubts, and temptations. But God does not abandon us, and SO many worthy people of prayer have been through times when everything in their lives must have been a question mark- I think of Joan of Arc, Bernard of Clairvaux, Walter Cizek, two brothers who were Polish priests who died in a death camp during the Nazi occupation of their country (in 1941, I think), Maria Goretti’s mom, etc. Sometimes alot of stuff we are in the middle of, and in the middle of us, does not make sense. But if it pleases God for it to be so, then so be it- we beg for grace to persevere. And no one going through this kind of trial is alone- the writer of Hebrews reminds us of the many who have gone before us in faith and how they now surround us as a great cloud of witnesses….Hebrews 11& 12. “…Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith..”. and Philippians 1:6… “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. ” These help me alot.

    • LizEst

      Beautifully, beautifully said, Jo. Thank you.

    • Jon Swedberg

      Thanks!!! Going through a real dry time myself and it’s good to know I’m not alone and to be encouraged by your words and the Words of Scripture!

  • MelissaStacy

    You are not a “bad person” because you are struggling with your faith! You are a normal, broken, blessed and forgiven person, just like the rest of us! God loves you. If you are struggling with forgiving others, it may be because you can’t forgive yourself. Perhaps you can talk to a spiritual advisor, a Catholic Stephen’s minister, or a counselor to help work through some of these issues. And the mystery of the Eucharist is just that – a wonderful mystery that many of us can spend our whole lives trying to understand and comprehend. Peace will come to you – hang in there and stay close to God in prayer, thought, words and deeds. Go to church, love your family and neighbor, have a grateful heart for your life and give thanks at the end of each day for all your blessings (when you start to look for them you will notice how many you have). Sometimes when we “strive” so hard to feel God or to know God, we get so caught up in the striving we miss the presence and joy of God when he is always there all along. You are in my prayers.

    • LizEst

      Thanks for that Melissa Stacy. I also learned a new term: “Stephen’s Minister.” I don’t think I had heard of that before.

  • Barb Ewer

    This lesson touches very very close to my life. I SOooooo much appreciate and feel’lifted’ by this message. Aridity is a new word for my vocab list. Will research more……..God bless your continued work!

  • Peter

    Hi fellow Catholics,

    First of all, thanks for your good discussion that’s helping us all to grow spiritually.

    Now. I do have an issue that’s bothering me. Do certain numbers portend some mystical significance? Numbers like 11, 13, and 33? What is the Catholic faith’s perspective on this matter? I ask this because I’ve come across some info on the net while browsing that gives these numbers some obscure meaning that doesn’t quite connect well with our faith.

    Your response and views will be highly appreciated.

    Peter – Kenya.

    • LizEst

      Hi Peter,

      There are certain numbers that do have special significance for Christians, numbers such as three because of the Trinity and 40 because of the 40 years the Israelites wandered in the desert and the 40 days Jesus fasted in the wilderness. When reading Scripture, it is important to know how the writers of Scripture used those numbers. They were kind of a shorthand way of expressing certain concepts not too different from the shorthand abbreviations that people use for texting on cell phones. For example, if a writer wrote about something lasting for 40 years, it meant a long, long, long time. And, when Jesus said we must forgive seventy times seven, that meant our forgiveness was to be limitless. It was part of the language of the day just as we have idioms or colloquialisms or jargon in our day. So, when we see such numbers appear in scripture, they are expressing certain concepts. The Bible is full of symbolic language.

      It is a completely different thing for Catholics to use numbers to try to predict things. This is considered to be divination and is expressly forbidden by the Church: “All forms of divination are to be rejected: recourse to Satan or demons, conjuring up the dead or other practices falsely supposed to ‘unveil’ the future. Consulting horoscopes, astrology, palm reading, interpretation of omens and lots, the phenomena of clairvoyance, and recourse to mediums all conceal a desire for power over time, history, and in the last analysis, other human beings, as well as a wish to conciliate hidden powers. They contradict the honor, respect, and loving fear that we owe to God alone.” (from the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) paragraph 2116.) “Superstition is a departure from the worship that we give to the true God. It is manifested in idolatry, as well as in various forms of divination and magic” (CCC 2138).

      So, to condense this explanation, numerology, which tries to predict or “divine” the future, is a form of divination. Divination is a type of superstition. And, superstition is a sin against the first commandment.

      I hope this helps, Peter. God bless you. And, thanks for your question.

      • I never dealt with divination or anything like that. But what if you have dreams of future events before they happen? I don’t choose to dream this way. I get them occasionally since I was a pre-teen. Lately they have been significant events like when my Grandfather passed away. But despite dreaming them, there is always something preventing me from believing them. (Which is a good thing I’m sure.) Until the event actually happens.

        • LizEst


          We know that dreams can have a supernatural origin. We see that in Scripture in the Old Testament and the New (remember Joseph was warned in a dream to take Jesus and Mary to Egypt because Herod wanted to kill the Child). But, dreams can also have other origins stemming mostly from things that have happened to you.

          What is called “Dream Play” is a New Age practice, not in keeping with Church doctrine. Dream Play has been suggested “as a substitute for Catholic devotional practices such as the morning offering, acts of faith, hope, and charity, examination of conscience and prayer before the Blessed Sacrament [with one person going so far as to recommend] naming, describing, interpreting, and dialoguing with the dream [and holding] that ‘Some think that the Church is the center of the world but we are really the center, the abode of God.” [from: So, you see there are dangers to this sort of thing.

          You say your dreams have sometimes been predictive. Yes, this can happen. It’s good you are prevented from believing your dreams. Otherwise, it could lead you down the path of trying to use them for divination or predicting the future. Just take them at face value. They are what they are and that is neither positive or negative. If they trouble you, that’s where a psychologist or counselor might be helpful (people with post traumatic stress syndrome can have flashbacks in their dreams, which happens with some frequency to those who have been exposed to combat and/or other extremely stressful situations). If the dreams were to take on a significant predictive religious tone to them, share that with your spiritual director so that can be assessed.

          The New Advent site has an extensive write up on dreams. So, I’ll just give you the link and you can read more there:

          By the way, in our day, there are some religions that do give a lot of weight to dreams.

          Hope that helps, Mary…God bless you …and sweet dreams!

          • Thank you! Yes that helps a lot! God Bless you too!

        • judeen

          a knew a nun who had dreams of car accidents.. before they happened.. she finally called the people and told them not to take that road , if they did change the way they were going they would be ok… also my children would dream my 5 year old knew who was going to be sick in school before she went… she did not want to go to school.. I have been told the devil does not know the future… He knows the present , and past.. and looks for our fears… God bless

  • Monica

    what is the difference between aridity and spiritual desolation?

    • Dear Monica – Good question. I just posted a short summary of the distinctions and similarities.

  • Ralyge

    I really like this question and response. Dan, wouldn’t you say there could also be the possibility of a third reason for this seeming absence of God or perhaps this would be a branch off of off apathy/sin: an obstacle caused by something the soul is not ready or even yet able to face or surrender to the Lord, i.e. something very deep and painful and in need a healing before the soul is able to receive from the Lord and/or before the Lord will give consolation to the soul.

    • Rachel – this certainly is a possibility. We can generally think of sources being the world, the flesh, and the devil. There are a thousand tributaries that form from these wells of sin. Sometimes even oppression from the enemy can be the source. The remedies are simpler to identify than the sources because regardless of source, the answer is always (in whatever way most effective) to turn to the Lord in His healing provision – to yield to his transforming grace.

  • C.Ss.R

    i am a seminarian who belong to this secular world. my world perspectives were set up when i entered the seminary. i do not doubt the existence of God but i use to doubt certain things in our catholic teachings. but i realized more than everything the most important thing is the personal relationship with God which will never go wrong or lead me to wrong path. i like the response. at the same time the question that is asked is very common in today’s world. even religious do doubt it sometimes. but i believe God will never abandon was the same feeling that Jesus felt on the cross so we do the same. here the faith is very important i ask only one grace that is faith with love.

  • kcthomas

    I would like to send the copy of the article to a friend. Is it possible ?

    • Absolutely. If you receive the daily email updates, you will find a “forward to a friend” link. Otherwise, click on the header of the post, copy it, and then paste it into an email.

  • romsbar

    This is an excellent ‘technical’ response but it doesn’t really satisfy on an emotional level especially if one was never loved uncoditionally as a child. If this was the case then often the feeling of abandonment is so strong that quite frankly the poison of sin is almost preferable because at least it is somewhat predictable. Aslan may not be a tame lion but it would be nice to at least feel his presence all the time even if we can’t see him; is this alright or am I sooo totally depraved that i have abandoned iron clad Thomism for fallan feelings.

    • Dear Friend, I was never loved in a way that a child should be loved. My parents did their best but both came from very broken backgrounds. I only developed a reasonable relationship with them as I began to find the transforming reality of Christ. Truth transforms when we engage in prayer, meditation, and the sacraments. No one is depraved beyond the redemption and succor of Christ. The process for those of us who have not known real love until Christ can be very arduous and long. I will try to write about this some time soon. The secret lies in Romans 12:1-2 and 2 Corinthians 10:5. There is hope. Cry out to God and He will always save. The saving surgery will be long and we must not be tempted to rise and release ourselves of His care else the remedy be not applied. He is trustworthy.

      • romsbar

        again Dan VERY technical, not satisfying emotionally.

        Out of the three people who ever loved me unconditionally (not my parents), one is dead, 2 live 4000 miles away ( I see them at most twice a year) and one of those is constantly ill.

        Do you know how painful it is to go to Mass every Sunday and watch the ‘perfect’ families, how come Jesus loves those kids enough to give them good homes, nice Catholic parents whilst I got stuck with the agnostics whose love was at best pitying and who broke up when I was 12?

        How am I supposed to trust God in this situation? Where do I see his Love in my life? What Garrunte do I have that this suffering will end and I will actually experience God’s love?

        • Becky Ward

          Romsbar…..what you see and interpret as “perfect families” is an illusion. There is no such thing, and I say this to you in humility and love….it is the devil who has you comparing.
          You have more people in your life who loved you unconditionally than many…….I know women who were abused by their fathers…..used as prostitutes when they were just little girls…….and they have found a way to let God into their hearts.
          Maybe you need to step back and start counting your blessings!

          The TRUTH is often not emotionally satisfying…..I am praying for you.

          • romsbar

            ok put it this way,these kids have a great Catholic upbringing, they are shielded not exposed to many spiritual dangers, they all make their 1st Communions at a much younger age than I did. They are loved unconditionally whereas I have to stalk the shadows like a stray dog begging for scraps, drugging myself senseless with thoughts of being loved by Jesus

          • LizEst

            romsbar, it sounds like you have a lot of hurt from the past and are in a great deal of pain…and my heart aches for you. What you want is to feel is that unconditional love that is God. God truly knows you and understands your pain. After all, He knew you before the foundation of the world. He created you in His image and likeness and you are precious in His sight. Jesus died to free you from sin, the sins of the past, the sins of others who have hurt you or ignored you and the sins that you may have committed.

            It’s OK to talk to God just like you would talk to anyone else. Tell Him what is on your mind. Tell Him you are hurt and you need to know and feel His love because you cannot feel it now and because He is the only One that can truly make it better. This is very important. You have to give up any control you want over HOW God has a relationship with you because God is God and we are not. It’s OK to cry out to him, even literally. It’s OK to tell him you are angry. It’s OK to tell him you are not happy with the relationship with Him. It’s OK to yell (I suggest privacy for this). It’s not OK to curse God but you can use very strong words with Him. You can even say you are almost at the point of saying bad things to Him. He already knows what is on your mind. This is nothing new to Him. But, you have to express yourself to Him if you have not done so already. Use tears if necessary.

            A couple more things:

            1. Find a spiritual director. This is exactly one of the things a spiritual director is good for. They will help you sort this out.

            2. Here’s a link to a video clip of someone who cried out to the Lord. My sense is that you are going through some stuff. This guy did, too, in a different way. It’s a little over eight minutes but it might be worth it to you. In any case, it’s powerful testimony.

            God bless you, romsbar. Your desire for God and His unconditional love is a step in the right direction. Trust Him and hang in there. He loves you very, very much.

          • Becky Ward

            What is it that you want?
            I didn’t know that God really loves us……that it was possible to know Jesus….and to know that He loves me, until I was 46 years old. I know about addictions; I know about negative thoughts that repeat over and over again reminding me of how bad I am.
            I understand looking at others who seem to have everything easy and wondering why them and not me. When I asked God a similar question once He answered with another question. “Do you know how diamonds are made?” Time, darkness, and pressure.
            It wasn’t a comfort to me at the time…I was pretty much in the midst of a pity-party for myself…..but I understand now that God transforms our difficulties into things more beautiful than we can imagine….if we give him the opportunity.

        • Issues with my Dad have also impacted my relationship with God. This song “Wonderfully Made” helped feel feel God’s unconditional fatherly love. I hope it helps you too. I’m praying for you.

          • LizEst

            That was beautiful Mary. It really calls to the heart. Thank you for posting that.

    • Becky Ward

      romsbar – you have touched upon an issue that many souls suffer from. It is difficult to let go of what is normal and comfortable for us (even if that is chaos, as it was in my life), but things ARE different with God, and as Dan mentioned, once we establish a relationship with the Lord, He works His way into the rest of our lives…..and grants us the grace to heal and improve previous relationships.
      There are people in my life that it is not good for me to be around……yet God has led me to a place of forgiveness and genuine love for them…..I pray for their salvation, and the pain of being separated is offered to God for the benefit of their souls.

  • Elizabeth Mahlou

    I have always loved St. John of the Cross’s explanation of aridity (and so much more). I think also that sometimes we are so busy looking for God that we don’t see Him even though He is right there with us. We are looking for Him to appear in the way we want Him to appear. As with Ernest in “The Great Stone Face” (Hawthorne), who in seeking all his life to find someone who fulfills the legend that one day a human being will appear who resembles the Old Man in the Mountains of New Hampshire fails to notice that he is actually the one who fulfills the legend, I think we sometimes are so busy looking for God without that we fail to notice God within. Just my two cents…

    • Elizabeth – your thoughts are interesting. I try to go fishing whenever I can (which is rarely). There is a funny tendency among fishermen that I think reveals the waywardness of our souls. They always seem to think that the fish are somewhere that they are not (unless they are actively biting of course). I can’t tell you how many times I have sat down and cast my line just a few feet out in front of me – only to shortly thereafter find a fish on my line. If we abide in Him, He will abiding in us and with us. We don’t have to go any further than right where we are to find Him.

  • Again I was “AWOL” to the 3rd Saturday Divine Mercy Prayer Day. So I am still working to catch up with my various Catholic Websites’ Posts. Reading this Post and the Family Members’ Responses is truly illuminating and Spiritually educative.

    I feel the anguish of the Author. Let me humbly respond to these words because I sense this is where it hurts:

    “Why have I lost my grip on how I use to feel about going to Church, how I feel after confession and when I pray. Sometimes I ask for things, other times I thank God for everything, sometimes I pray for different people and sometimes I pray by just being quite. When I’m quiet, I never think or feel the presence of God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit being with me. Am I a bad person?”

    1) Feeling you have lost the Consolations, and the connection with God you experienced before is disheartening, indeed. But you are not a bad person at all. You are genuinely seeking that which you had with God before and you are desolate you cannot find it. You are afraid it has gone for ever. That is absolutely normal and very human.

    2) You say that when you are quiet you never think or feel the presence of God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit being with you. Where do you think He is during these dry moments? You are seeking for God outside yourself, yet, He is within you.

    Be assured He understands your struggles….He knows the real you, whom even you yourself do not know. And He has not abandoned you. He loves you with infinite unconditional Love as only God can love and He is pleased with your struggles to feel His Presence again.

    I hope this advice I was given some time back may help you. When I poured out my heart of how I felt I should be faithful, devoted and loving to God, I was advised to let God be God and allow Him to direct my conversion in His Own Way, at His Own Pace. All He wanted from me was to trust in Him. I was advised to persevere in my Prayer Rule of Life confident that He is guiding my Spiritual growth even though, most of the times, I was totally oblivious of this. And since then, I no longer torment myself on how I am growing Spiritually because I know for sure God is working in me and re-moulding me every day to become what He created me to be. When you feel like you have lost Him, turn to our Beloved Mother and pray to her to intercede for you.

  • Cheryl

    I’m trying to find a job for almost a year. I have on numerous occasions prayed novenas & just as a single prayer to Sts. Jude Thaddeus, Rita, Padre Pio, Anthony the Miracle Saint, Cajetan, Anne, Holy Souls in Purgatory, Angels-Guardian (whom I have not named or know if the angel is actually my guardian or someone else’s) & Michael, Our Holy Mother under her many titles, to The Holy Trinity (either individually or as the Trinity); but to no avail. I am running out of money, and I know my mom is getting tired of me borrowing from her.I have gone to the Claretins/St. Jude novena site, Sisters of St, Rita site, St. Padre Pio site, and The Assoc. of the Miraculous Medal site to give them my petitions/requests/favors on my behalf because it seems no one in heaven wants to listen to me anymore & to suffer. I even asked God to take my life in my sleep so that I don’t have to suffer unemployment & abandonment By God and Heaven any more. What am I doing wrong ? Is it the way I say my petitions, wrong saints, too many saints, wrong novenas- what, what am I doing wrong?

    • Abdi Ruff

      Don’t give up Cheryl. It really is strange that some people always have work, others can’t get a job to save their life even when they apply literally everywhere. Try to imagine how Mary and Joseph felt when they had to flee to Egypt with our Lord, and the fears they had of providing for their needs. Everything will work out. In addition to praying, ask everyone you know for help and someone will be your angel and provide work. Can I help?

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