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Broken? ~ Stanza I ~ Part II

May 4, 2012 by  
Filed under Becky Ward, Broken

Broken  Stanza I  Part II

In a world of broken people
You alone can make us whole.
Wounded hearts and minds and spirits,
broken bodies, battered souls.

Broken: Stanza I Part II

When the first words of this poem came to me my mind flew around the globe picking out those suffering from famine, war, terrorism, corrupt government, natural disasters and the for post on stanza Ilike, and also to those who have debilitating diseases and conditions…..those who seemed the most ‘broken’ from my worldly perspective. But I knew that these were not the ones the Holy Spirit was turning my heart to. He meant, as did Jesus in Matthew 23:27, those of us who pretend to be faithful, who make it look like we are good Christians, but whose beliefs and behaviors are often just the opposite of what they should be.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and every kind of filth. Even so, on the outside you appear righteous, but inside you are filled with hypocrisy and evildoing.”

I was one of these people! and among the first few concepts that God taught me was the fact that the devil is real and that evil forces are at work in our lives every day. It was difficult facing the fact that I was wallowing in secular beliefs and ideas that are opposed to what the Church actually teaches, but I needed to know the Truth, and while it was a shock…….it was also quite refreshing for my soul!

While I personally believe that abortion is the taking of an innocent life, I didn’t think I had the right to “impose my beliefs” on anyone else, and I had bought the lie that it’s okay for Catholics to be pro-choice. What I didn’t understand about abortion, contraception, all forms of sinful sexuality, the ordination of women to the priesthood (See CCC 2270-2275, 2370, 2331-2400, 1577 respectively), and other ‘hot button’ issues like this, is that they are intrinsically evil; the thing in itself is evil, and this is why the Church teaches against them. In the prideful act of choosing to accept and believe such things are okay – just like Adam & Eve – rather than humbly accepting what God has put in place through His Church, I had turned my back on God and the Church.

In my ignorance of what the Church actually taught on these issues, and of who God really is, I supported them. My rationale went something like this: “If Jesus was here today He would understand the need to keep the population down.” or “If there aren’t enough men wanting to be priests, maybe that’s a sign from God that women should be ordained.” In His great love for me, the Holy Spirit wasted no time shattering my illusions with this scripture verse:

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Do not be carried away by all sorts of strange teaching. Hebrews 13:8-9a

When my conversion began in 2006 I would spend hours on end in a dark church, no one there but Jesus and me. While I had no idea of how He would do it, I had been told that “Much healing takes place in adoration,” and I clung to that hope with all my heart. I really didn’t expect much. I honestly didn’t know how badly ‘wounded’ I was. I thought I pretty much had things figured out and was doing all the right things to be successful. The devil would play mind games with me, telling me how much time I was wasting and things like that, but something stronger simply pulled at me until I found myself in church once again.

Flash forward to today and I will tell you that daily Mass, regular confession, and lots of adoration have softened my heart and allowed me to be open to the grace God was pouring out on me. I am a new person on the inside, thanks to these practices, a good faith formation program, and solid spiritual direction.

God alone can heal the wounds that lie so deep in our hearts that we may not even know they are there. He can also heal us physically, mentally, and emotionally…….so gradually that we don’t notice it until one day we discover to our astonishment that a bad habit, like yelling at people in traffic, or an ailment, is just gone! I have experienced this; you can too!

Wholeness can only be achieved when we acknowledge our spiritual needs as well as the physical, mental, and emotional. Since our soul will live for eternity, we need to make sure our spiritual needs are at the top of the list. Go to confession; Jesus is waiting for you there and absolution is FREE!!

Love & Prayers,

Becky

This post is part of a series. The introduction and other articles from the series can be found here once they have been published.

 

 

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About Becky Ward

Becky is a wife, mother of four (One in heaven), grandmother of five, and a "re-formed Catholic" who, after receiving the gift of a deep conversion in 2006, and working through the Disciples of Jesus and Mary faith formation program, now considers herself to be "fully Catholic" What this means is that she now, at last, understands and appreciates the beauty of the Catholic faith in such a way that she wants to share it with everyone. "I've heard that the Blessed Mother told a visionary, 'If Catholics really lived their faith, the whole world would be Catholic.' I see the truth in this, and it is my deepest hope to be a living example that draws others to Jesus. Given the nickname Rebel-Becca by her mother, Becky strongly identifies with St. John the Baptist and his call to "make straight the path of the Lord", and with his role as "Friend of the Bridegroom". The poem, "Broken?" written through her hand, is a reflection of the journey of the soul, and Becky explains what the Holy Spirit is teaching her as she writes posts for each stanza.

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  • judeen

    right on becky… also doing all this… I still needed to verbally ask Jesus in my heart… to dwelll there… also I had uncontrolable anger something passed down from generations.. an uncontrolable anger…. someone prayed over me to heal my past generations all the way to adame and eve and double and triple all the blessings they earned all the way to me… wow… I no longer blew up!! there was a peace… scripture also talks about this .past generational sins.. I now also pray over people for healing of past generations.. it is like night and day.. a great love for God appears…. what is holding you back??? from God… take a good look at ones lineage… feelings, life …

  • LizEst

    Beautiful, Becky!

    Thank you for this.

  • Genny

    This is relevant to most of us today…….Thanks Becky! and Thank you Jesus for Becky!

  • hazcompat

    I was one of those people. HE released from the snare of the fowler, HE gave me wings to fly. How can I express my gratitude? Thank you.

    • LizEst

       “How can I repay the Lord for all the good done for me? I will raise the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people.” Psalm 116:12-13

      • $1650412

        I love this!

      • Mobrien7

        Hello,

        I very often feel the same way – Why would our Lord hear me and my prayers? He wants me to do better.

        Mike

  • Jeanette

    Jesus came to “Set the captives free” and that is what he has done for me and desires to do for all. Thank you Becky for sharing yourself with us.

  • jacq

    I was at a parish talk today and there was also a section on Brokenness and at that time, I had thought “Oh, ths is not for me. I’m alright, not “broken” in anyway.” Thank you Becky! How God must have heard my unspoken thought and here I am looking at your article. The part that caught my breath was…”Matthew 23:27, those of us who pretend to be faithful, who make it look like we are good Christians, ……, on the outside you appear righteous, but inside you are filled with hypocrisy ….”. Goodness, I’ve been feeling hypocritical for quite awhile now but just couldn’t nail it! Thank Lord Jesus, you’ve certainly heard my prayers….I’m broken and yet not knowing….It’s not easy to be good…sometimes I feel so false…

    • Becky Ward

      The work of conversion is not easy, but IS so very worth the effort. One day at a time, and remember it is not hypocritical to change from bad habits to good ones…..although the devil and our own ego can make us think otherwise.

      • LizEst

         There was a saint, whose name I don’t now recall with certainty, when tempted by the devil to change his good intentions, who used to say, “I didn’t start this because of you [the devil] and I’m not going to finish it because of you.”

    • Mary@42

      jacq, are you sure you are hypocritical or is it the Evil One who is working on you to discourage you? I ask you this because, at times this is exactly what He uses to make us despair and give up striving to live our Faith daily.  Do not fall into His traps. Jesus gave me this Advice when I encountered Him in His Seat of Mercy when we visited the Divine Mercy Shrine on the 1st Friday of this Month: “Do not let your hears be troubled.  You have faith in God; have faith also in me”. Becky 313 knows the trials and tribulations I recently went through when I was made to believe all my Prayers, Novenas and Fastings were useless and simply Pharisaic.  I was devastated and resolved to abandon my Sacramental Life, believing each time I sent for my daily Holy Communion and Weekly Confession, I was piling Sacrilegious Sins upon my soul.  Believe me for a few weeks I was in such turmoil and heartache until I was advised that was simply a very powerful attack  from the Evil One.

      • Jeanette

        I also recently underwent a very powerful attack of satan who was trying to convince me that my spiritual life was all illusion and that I was disrespectful to God in the way that I prayed or communed with Him. With many days of torment on my part and satan’s continual attacks, I continued to cling to Jesus and tell Him that I loved Him and asked for mercy and compassion. I told Jesus that all was not lost, we could begin again…this is how much the evil one had convinced me with his horrid lies. I continued to pray and receive the sacraments. When I visited Jesus in the Tabernacle during this time, it returned much of my peace. I gradually came out of this deception by prayer, clinging to Jesus, expressing my love to Him and by ‘revealing’ satan’s lies to my spiritual director who told me this is one of the many deceptions of satan that he tries on those close to God to discourage them, make them despair and give up their quest for a virtuous spiritual life. Much merit is gained in overcoming satan’s lies and it makes you stronger spiritually and more aware of satan’s ‘dirty tricks.’ BE VIGILANT. That is my advice. Test. God will not mind if you ask him for confirmation if some experience is of God or not. He will graciously, in some way, let you know. I hope the above helps someone….

        • Something that has helped me counter attacks from the devil is having a music playlist on my Ipod. I call it my motivation playlist. The songs are inspirational, motivational… Not necessarily all religious songs… but they me remind of His love, His promises, and my desire to serve Him and to trust Him.

          Some examples of these songs are as follows: (You can find most of them on Youtube)

          Corrine May (She is a great Catholic singer! You should check out her other stuff as well!)
          – Fives Loaves and Two Fishes
          – Scars Stronger for Life
          – Safe in a Crazy World
          – Everything in its Time
          – Little Superhero Girl
          – Free
          – The Answer

          Josh Groban
          -The Prayer
          – You Raise Me Up
          – You are Loved

          Phil Collins
          – True Colors
          – You’ll be in My Heart

          Bukas Palad (A Philippine Choir under our Jesuit Music Ministry)
          – If I Could Touch You
          – Freedom is at Hand
          – Amare et Servire
          – Doce Me Facere

          Hangad (A Philippine Choir under our Jesuit Music Ministry)
          – Wonderfully Made

          Sound of Music – Climb Every Mountain
          Carrie Underwood – Jesus Take the Wheel
          Avril Lavigne – Keep Holding On
          Hunchback of Notre Dame – God Help the Outcasts
          Princess Diaries – Miracles Happen
          The Prince of Egypt – I Will Get There

          Sorry for the long list. I hope these songs could help others as much as they have helped me. God Bless!

          • judeen

            christian music,, is praising God the devil does not praise to God or repence of sin.. He will leave… a powerful tool of warfare…

          • Jeanette

            I too have made an IPOD playlist of hymns, songs and prayers. It is, indeed, helpful in many peaceful ways. Thanks for your list of songs.

        • Mary@42

          Yes, 
          Jeanette, you help me and many more of us.  In my tribulations, Jesus in the Tribunal of Mercy did confirm to me that those condemnations were from the Evil One.  And He categorically told me: “When then ganged up and turned against you, I Myself stepped in a rescued you. Be at peace. He gave me yet another confirmation that He was holding me fast when He told me to read John 14:1 ”
          as my Penance : “Do not let your hears be troubled.  You have Faith in God; have Faith also in Me”.  I left the Confessional with a consoled and healed heart.

  • Ramaniew

    Thanks Becky. I too was one of those people . Regular confessions, many masses, the rosary has led me to be what i am now. I humbly praise God and thank Our Blessed Mother for all the grace given to me.

  • Momof4

    Thank you Becky for your insights! Thank you for saying that being in Adoration heals us! I so needed to hear that. I am broken and feel that my weekly 1 hour Adoration is healing me and softening me!

  • Mary@42

    Hey, Becky, thank you for this Post.  I love this last Paragraph:

    “Wholeness can only be achieved when we acknowledge our spiritual needs as well as the physical, mental, and emotional. Since our soul will live for eternity, we need to make sure our spiritual needs are at the top of the list. Go to confession; Jesus is waiting for you there and absolution is FREE!!”

    The Holy Spirit surely worked overtime with you here. You are so blessed, and you have helped many souls out there, believe me.

  • Josejoanne2003

    Thank you for sharing this Becky…I SO needed to read this today..may God and Our Lady continue to bless you on this wonderful path.

  • $1650412

    Very beautiful Becky! Thank you Lord for the gift this lady,so restored, is to us all!

  • BeckitaMaria

    Amen. Alleluia!

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